Monday, March 2, 2009

God IS that small

This Sunday, our pastor shared an amazing sermon, that really spoke right to my heart. Bobby and I are going through a hard time, as I know so many are. He had to close his business, let go of over 60 employees and go for almost a year without a paycheck. You can imagine the impact it has had on us. With out going into detail, it has forced us to really focus on what IS important. We're learning a new dependency on God. This time when we began talking about having another baby, the conversation was much different. The desire was there - so much, but with our financial situation, we were scared. We ultimately decided to leave it in God's hands. I prayed and prayed and prayed. I KNOW that children our God's most precious blessing to us. I know that if God wants to give us that blessing, then I trust He too will provide.
Back to the sermon - it was about - is God small enough. We know how big and powerful He is, but do we really believe He is small enough for us. Small enough to really know us, our daily lives, and our daily struggles? I know He is. As I was sitting there listening - thinking about all the small stuff that I have been constantly going to Him in prayer with - should we have another baby? where are we going to live? where is Brock going to go to school? a new job.. career? what are we going to do about a car? how are we going to pay for that?... It was as if God spoke right to my heart. He brought back such a vivid memory. It was one of the most meaningful - overwhelming moments of my life, and it was as if He was playing a movie in my mind, reassuring me, reminding me.
During my trips to Africa, I saw God work in amazing and miraculous ways. But one in particular rocked me to my core, and in that moment yesterday, He walked me back through that time.
We had been in Africa about 7 weeks, and it was time to head home to the states. I was with a team of 14 college student and two leaders. This was before 9-11, but after the first Gulf war, and just a few days before the embassy in Nairobi was bombed. Things were tense to say the least, and we were flying from Nairobi to two stops in the Middle East - Saudi Arabia and Abu Dabi. We were all a bit nervous. The actual panic didn't set in though until we realized that one of the girls, Hilary who was the youngest in our group had had her passport stolen. We knew that there was no way that she'd be able to board all the planes and go through customs without it, but it was the fourth of July and the Embassy was closed, and we had to get on that plane. All we could do was pray. So we did - we weren't sure what to pray, but Hillary had to get on that plane some how. I remember the first customs stop in Nairobi. We were in line about 10 feet back from the window, and they called us up one at a time. The asked us a long list of questions, went through our carry on, and checked our passport - then they gave us our stamp and sent us through. Hilary walked up to the window with me when they called me up. They went through the drill with me, and then sent me on through with Hilary BY MY SIDE. They didn't say a word to her. It was as if they didn't even see her. That was the first of three checks. Then we headed to Saudi Arabia. We didn't exit the plane there, but men in military uniform and with M-16 guns boarded the plane to check passports. Those of us that were sleeping were woken up by a nudge from the butt of their M-16, so that they could check our passports. 15 of us were woken up and checked. Can you guess who the one - the only one on the plane that wasn't woken up and checked was - that's right Hilary. It was as if she was invisible. They reached right over her to wake up Roger who was sleeping next to her, but didn't even glance at her! I remember being unable to even talk as the men left the plane because I was so overwhelmed. That left one more check point. When we arrived in Abu Dabi, we had to get off and change planes, which meant another customs check because we were in another country in the Middle East. This time we were once again called up one at a time and questioned, but we were also pulled into separate rooms, men and women, and patted down. All that is but Hilary who quietly stood aside and was once again ignored. I remember thinking that this was like something out of a movie, or the Bible but it wasn't. It was God right there with us, involved in the daily, small part of our individual lives. I have so many stories like this from my trips, especially the second trip, but this is already probably way too long of a post. I just felt like I had to share. God does care about all of our small stuff. He is here, and He is involved - we just need to go to Him in prayer and share - He is listening.

6 comments:

Cari~ said...

Shan, I have goose bumps. I know how God talks to us. He is constantly doing things that seem "impossible." It is so humbling to think about how very important we are to God. Thanks for the uplifting post. You're in my prayers.
Love you.

Janene said...

Thank you for sharing. . .my husband and I have contemplated a third child for while now and we are finally at peace to leave it in God's hands...when we look at the challenges we've been faced with, HE has always provided--and we need to continue to trust that His way is the only way. . .

:corinne: said...

Wow Shan that is such an amazing story. Of all the times we've chatted about your trips, I don't think this one ever came up. Just a BIG picture of what God can do. As I read your story a verse came to mind...Ephesians 3:20 "Not to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us" Nothing is ever to Big nor to Small for our Lord...we just have a lil of something called FAITH! Huggs

April said...

Just found your blog. I love it. Your family is BEAUTIFUL. Can't wait to read every day about this pregnancy! So exciting!! And this story you just shared brought tears to my eyes and goosebumps on my skin. AMAZING.

Bridget said...

Awesome story!!! It wasn't too long, share more:) I love hearing these stories. (I'm sharing this story with my kids today.) Were talking about missionaries. Perfect! He will provide for your growing family. Many blessings to the Hartz Herd:)

Loni's World said...

Great story! :)